FADE IN:

MICHAEL ARRUDA and LL SOARES are inside an alien shanty town. In the background, soldiers move around, questioning aliens, attempting to get them to sign eviction forms, while a camera crew films the proceedings.

MA (talks into the camera): Welcome to another edition of Cinema Knife Fight. LL and I are inside this alien shanty town today to review the new science-fiction thriller, DISTRICT 9.

LS: I thought we were here to try some of that alien grub?

MA: Do you always think with your stomach?

LS: Only when I'm hungry. (Eyes open wide) Ah, here we go! (Picks up a severed alien claw).

MA (horrified): What are you going to do with that?

LS: Dip it in melted butter. This makes a lobster claw look like a fish stick!

MA: Well, while you're feasting, I'll start the review. DISTRICT 9 is a new alien thriller presented by Peter Jackson. It's written and directed by first-time ddirector Neill Blomkamp, though he shares screenwriter credit with Terri Tatchell.

LS: Jackson produced it, and obviously they're playing up his name so that the movie gets serious attention. But it's basically Blomkamp's vision.

(Behind them, elves, hobbits, trolls, wizards, and King Kong stroll by carrying signs which read "Peter Jackson Rocks!" and "Lord of the Big Budget Movie!").

MA: The movie is presented in documentary style, and immediately reveals that years ago an enormous spaceship appeared out of the skies and settled over the city of Johannesburg, South Africa, where it remained hovering without doing anything more. Eventually, the authorities decided to enter the ship. What they find is not at all what they expected: a broken down interior loaded with sick and weakened aliens.

It presented the South African government with a political nightmare, and they quickly had to act, to find a place to house the thousands of aliens suffering on the ship. The most immediate answer was to locate them to a temporary shanty town, which is where they remain for many years.

LS (Chomping on alien arm): Twenty.

MA: Huh?

LS: When the movie opens, they've been on earth for 20 years.

MA: Well, it's years later, and the government has hired a militaristic corporation, Multi-National United (MNU), to control the alien population. MNU plans to relocate the aliens to a larger, more improved living space, and this is where the present day action in the movie takes place. We follow the man chosen to enforce the mass eviction of the aliens, a sort of anti-hero named Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley).

LS (Melted butter dripping from chin): A more improved living space? More improved for whom? They're being moved from tin-roofed shacks to rows and rows of flimsy tents surround by barbed wire. The idea is to get them far away from the human population, who wants nothing to do with them. So the relocation is certainly not a step up for the aliens. It's just moving from one slum to another.

MA (Leans over and wipes LS chin with a napkin): Hey, I'm doing a plot summary here, do you mind? Obviously, I know they're being moved from one slum to another, but in the movie that's the reason the authorities are giving for the mass eviction.

LS: And Wikus is not an anti-hero. He's pretty much an idiot.

MA: Yes, he is an idiot. I agree with you there.

LS: The only reason he gets to lead MNU's relocation effort is because his wife's father is the head muckity-muck. The father-in-law chooses him because he knows he can control him easily. He's a pawn. As opposed to a "prawn."

MA: Wikus leads a camera crew and soldiers through the shanty town of District 9 attempting to get the aliens to sign eviction notices. When the aliens don't cooperate, Wikus finds other infractions on which to base the evictions, infractions such as making weapons, for example.

LS: This part baffled me a bit. There are something like 1.8 million aliens living in this ghetto. And they're going to give them all eviction notices in time to move them out 24 hours later? Sounds like a pretty tall order. And, as we see, it's a very slow process. The aliens either don't understand - or pretend not to - and many put up a fight.

MA: When Wikus becomes infected with a strange alien liquid, he becomes an alien hybrid, and his arm turns into an alien claw.

LS: You should probably explain that, while rooting around a shack, looking for weapons, Wikus finds a vial that accidentally sprays him. That's how this all begins. As usual, it's an accident that gets the clumsy Wikus involved in the action. But hey, I like the claw. It's cool. I wish I had one.

MA: You do. You're eating it.

LS: You mean I ATE it (tosses meatless bone on the ground). Yummy!

MA: When Wikus seeks medical attention, he finds to his horror that MNU wants to use him as a lab subject. The company has long been interested in the weaponry the aliens brought to earth, weaponry that only the aliens can operate because of their DNA. When MNU discovers that Wikus with his hybrid claw can now operate the weapons, they decide to dissect him to harvest and study his hybrid parts.

LS: It's cool how every weapon and tool that the aliens brought with them are tied into their genetic code. It's like everything around them is alive.

MA: Wikus manages to escape and seeks shelter back in District 9.

LS: I think it's funny that how the evil corporation in charge gets people to turn on Wikus while he's a fugitive is to spread a false rumor that he got his alien arm because he had sex with aliens. In one scene, someone is reading a tabloid which even shows an "artist's rendition" of that. These things sure are ugly, but I bet in real life someone would still have a fetish for them.

MA: Like I was saying, Wikus flees to District 9 and there befriends the very same alien who had bottled the mysterious liquid in the vial. The alien explains that if hey can get the liquid back, he can use it to both start the mother ship to go back to his home planet, and also to change Wikus back into his human form. Wikus and the alien then team up and attempt to steal back the vial of precious alien liquid, as the last half of the movie moves from documentary science-fiction tale to action-adventure/ science-fiction melodrama.

Now, I liked DISTRICT 9 a lot. I thought this was a very ambitious movie, that tackled a lot of serious issues, and actually played for most of its 112 minutes as a serious drama rather than an alien movie. But, even though I enjoyed this movie, I found it very depressing, one of the more depressing movies I've seen in awhile. But this is in large part why I liked it. I thought the filmmakers did a remarkable job of capturing just what this situation would be like, and they made it seem very real. In other words, if something like this were to happen, chances are it would go down in a very similar fashion to the way events unfold in the movie.

LS: What's wrong with depressing? Why does everything have to be peaches and cream? There are lots of things about life that are depressing. Why can't movies explore these without being criticized as being "downers?" Personally, I prefer something more depressing than a dumb movie that's overly upbeat.

MA: I'm not criticizing the movie for being depressing. I'm just saying that it was.

(An ALIEN comes over and taps LS on the shoulder. The two converse for a bit)

MA: What did he want?

LS: He was asking how much to buy you. He thinks you're cute.

MA: I certainly hope you didn't humor him.

LS: Of course not.....Besides, he turned my offer down.

MA: The first half of the movie really plays like a documentary. This style worked for me. I'm not sure how it will work for mass audiences out there. They may be put off since this film holds onto this style almost throughout, and people may not be expecting a documentary about aliens. But I liked it.

LS: Dude, this isn't the first genre movie to use a documentary style. You must be getting old. Don't you remember CLOVERFIELD? That wasn't too long ago. And before that, we had THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. Filming a science-fiction or horror movie as a documentary is nothing new. But I have to admit, this is probably the best one yet.

MA: Of course I remember CLOVERFIELD! But I find major differences between the style of DISTRICT 9 and both CLOVERFIELD and THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. While CLOVERFIELD was supposed to be shot from the point of view of a character in the movie holding a video camera, and while the characters in BLAIR WITCH set out to make a documentary, this movie actually plays like a real documentary! I mean, watching it, especially the first part, is like watching a professionally shot documentary. You half expect to see Michael Moore walking around the shanty town somewhere.

(MICHAEL MOORE pops up behind them)

MM: Did someone call for me?

LS: No, go away. This is our gig!

MM: Oh is that so? (Camera crew leaves MA and LS and stands behind him)

LS: What a bunch of traitors.

MA: Okaaay. (MA and LS shuffle to a new spot in the shanty town). I also liked the way the story unfolds immediately. All the pertinent background information is explained clearly within the first few minutes of the film, and as a result, this movie grabbed me right away.

LS: Yeah, it does a great job setting up the story, and how things came to be. This is probably in part because it started as a short film, that was expanded into a feature film. All of the details were probably already there.

MA: The lead character, Wikus, is like you said, an idiot. When you watch him early on leading the eviction party, it's painful, the way he and the soldiers talk down to the aliens, treating them in a patronizing manner, and completely ignoring their dignity as a species. They call the aliens "prawns" and treat them as such, like giant shrimp.

LS: The "pawn and prawn" thing again. I disagree with your earlier comment that Wikus is an anti-hero. An anti-hero knowingly crosses moral boundaries and doesn't care. Wikus cares too much. He thinks it's wonderful he's been promoted and he agrees to run the eviction proceedings because he's too dumb to realize how messy it will be, and how easily he can be blamed for anything that goes wrong. Early on, he seems very clueless about a lot of things, even though he supposedly has a lot of experience with these aliens. And he only goes along with the abuse of the aliens by the soldiers because he doesn't want to look like a wimp.

He only seems to gain any kind of intelligence at all once he is infected. It's only then that his eyes are opened and he sees what is really going on. Only when the pawn becomes a prawn.

MA: I think you give Wikus too much credit. I don't think he cares too much at all, especially early on. I think he's more than clueless. He doesn't give a damn about the aliens. It's not until his life is threatened that he starts paying attention, and even then, his actions are driven by purely selfish motives- he wants to survive. He doesn't care about the aliens, until the end.

LS: Either way, actor Sharlto Copley does a terrific job as Wikus. He makes the character totally believable.

MA: That he does! District 9 is a horrible place. It's a decrepit shanty town ravished by poverty, populated by aliens who seem more like animals than intelligent beings. It's patrolled by a paramilitary corporation, and gang lords freely operate "food-for-weapons" businesses.

LS: Oh, the Nigerian gang lords are easily the scariest things in the movie. Much scarier than the aliens could ever be. The fact that they have no fear of these strange, ugly beings right off the bat, and immediately exploit the situation, shows how ruthless they are. And, with their total disregard for life - human or alien - they intimidate the aliens right away.

MA: Writer/director Blomkamp based this story on his experiences with South African apartheid. Watching this movie brought back memories of anti-apartheid movies from the 1980s, movies like CRY FREEDOM (1987) and A WORLD APART (1988). But it also reminded me of more recent tumultuous events.

I kept thinking, would a government be this unprepared and this short-sighted in dealing with a plan as massive and important as housing all these aliens? And sadly, with images of George W. Bush and Iraq in mind, I had to answer yes.

LS: It made me think a lot about the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, too. How totally unprepared the government was to deal with a huge catastrophe. The situation in DISTRICT 9 is nothing if not a catastrophe that is exploited by every human involved.

MA: Current events dictate that if something like this were really to happen, it could happen just like this.

LS: That is why this movie is so brilliant. It's not some dumb-ass escapist movie. It's smart and it has some real points to make.

MA: Once Wikus becomes an alien hybrid, the movie switches gears and becomes much more of a straight melodrama. Still, it manages to retain its depressing feel, and I for one was uncertain as to how this movie would end. I was on edge throughout.

LS: "On edge throughout," huh? Sounds like a ringing endorsement to me.

(A Hobbit skips by with another sign "Lord of the Ringing Endorsements!" LS throws a rock at him.)

(They enter a deserted shack and find empty cans all over the floor)

MA (picks one up): Yummy Cat Cat Food! Oh yeah, the aliens in this movie are totally addicted to cat food. As someone explains in the movie, aliens react to cat food the way cats react to catnip. They love it.

LS: Hey, don't knock it til you try it! It is funny how the aliens trade all kinds of weaponry and important stuff to the gang lords for cans of cat food, though. Kind of sad, actually.

MA: I really enjoyed the relationship between Wikus and the alien he befriends, and the alien's son.

LS: Despite the language barrier and the fact that these creatures look truly grotesque, like giant bugs, Blomkamp does an excellent job of making us sympathize with them. By the end of the movie, you really care about these creatures, and that's what makes their plight all the more powerful.

I also found the alien child to be a pleasant surprise. Not once in the movie did I feel they were making him cutesy. He's no E.T.. Instead, he's one of the smartest aliens of the bunch.

MA: The best scene in the movie comes when the main alien discovers that humans are using his race as medical experiments. Think PLANET OF THE APES in reverse.

I also absolutely loved the image of the enormous ship hovering in the sky over Johannesburg. This has the potential for becoming an iconic movie image for years to come.

LS: I agree. That ship hovering above Johannesburg is a terrific image.

MA: As much as I loved this movie, it's not without flaws. For example, it never makes clear why the majority of the aliens act more like dumb beasts rather than intelligent beings. Why is it that only the one alien who Wikus befriends has the capacity to make an escape attempt?

LS: Actually, the movie does explain that. The theory is that the ship contained worker drones of their species who were being shipped somewhere, when something went wrong. They are used to taking orders and doing what they are told. Without a leader to guide them, they have reverted to an animalistic state.

MA: I'm sorry. I must have missed that when I blinked. It was also unclear at first whether or not humans were able to understand the foreign alien language, which was interpreted for audiences with subtitles. Eventually, this is made clear, as Wikus does understand the language, but it takes a while for this revelation to be made.

LS: The language thing is a bit daunting. How are we able to communicate so easily? But I know it's like this to make the story move along, and they have been on earth for 20 years, so it's not that big a flaw.

MA: Wikus' father-in-law is one of the major villains in the movie. Yet, he disappears for most of the second half. Also, I found it somewhat difficult to believe that Wikus could escape from the lab so easily. There's like a million soldiers around, and yet he still manages to make it all the way to District 9. I thought that was too easy.

LS: Yeah, I agree. But then he does fight back unexpectedly and catches them with their pants down, and he does have alien weaponry at his command, even if he's not completely sure how to use it. We could probably make a whole list of plot holes, but a great movie makes you ignore the flaws and enjoy the ride. I felt this way about DISTRICT 9.

MA: I thought the alien special effects were exceptional. The interaction between humans and aliens was seamless. I wasn't thinking CGI, and I wasn't thinking man in an alien suit- I was thinking, man here, alien there. It looks incredibly real.

LS: I thought the aliens looked terrific. Nothing cute or silly. They truly are ugly to behold, and yet believable. I actually thought the effects were pretty excellent, except for scenes where a bunch of aliens all gather together. Then they looked a bit too CGI - like video game images. But for the most part, they were very well done.

MA: I liked DISTRICT 9 and highly recommend it, but I wonder how well it will be received? It is certainly not the most uplifting story, nor is it told in a conventional way. I don't see it as a crowd pleaser. However, it is one incredibly well-made movie, one that I think people should get out there and see. What did you think?

LS: Well, I think it's obvious that I loved it, too. It wasn't just the effects or the look of the thing. It actually had meat on its bones. It wasn't some big-budget fairy tale like STAR WARS, and yet it had an epic feel to it, and it seemed like a truly fresh concept. Sure, the "aliens-trapped-on-earth" thing has been done before in movies like ALIEN NATION, but this time the idea just seemed original and very well done.

Easily the best movie I've seen so far in 2009. And the best science-fiction movie I've seen in years.

MA: Wow. You liked it better than I did. While I highly recommend it, I wasn't blown away by it.

(An ALIEN approaches and attempts to communicate with them. He sounds angry.)

LS: I told you, (points to MA) he's not for sale!

MA (gulps): Um, I don't think he's the same alien. Look! (points to ALIEN's arm- he's missing his left claw). I think he wants to know what happened to his claw.

LS (burps): Ooops. (offers ALIEN a can of cat food). Even trade?

(MA & LS flee from shack with ALIEN in hot pursuit.)

MA & LS: Until next time-----!

FADE OUT