(Germany, 2008, 81 Minutes)

If your life means anything to you, you'd better stay away from the spooky Castle Grabau, which is located in the forgotten North of Germany. Cause at least when you've seen DON'T WAKE THE DEAD, the new film by Germany-based cult director Andreas Schnaas (VIOLENT SHIT I-III, NIKOS THE IMPALER), you should be aware of the fact that the rotten bodies of a bunch of age-old grailknights have been buried in there centuries ago. And thanks to an evil curse these undead templars rise from their graves for one hellish night every 66 years to bring fear, terror and death to every human being unfortunate enough to be near the castle during that fateful time.

And that you really don't wanna mess with these boney, chainmail wearin' swordsmen from hell is something that, among others, a troup of nazi soldiers had to learn the hard way in the 1940s. When the brown brood, eager to increase their knowledge of the occult and the grotesque, disturbed the templars' rest, the rotten grailknights din't hestitate to fight back and slaughter the nazis down without the slightest glimpse of mercy.

Now, 66 years later, the vengeful dead are about to rise from their graves again, just in the same night in which a bunch of young women arrived at Castle Grabau in order to whip the ramshackle old manor-house back into shape. And while the scadly clad chicks are still celebrating their arrival with lots of beer and wine, they don't even recognize that the caskets outside the castle are already wide open and ready to spit out the worm-eaten corpses of the undead templars and goulish nazis one more time to unleash another night of havoc, bloodshed and despair.

Only a few moments later, the vicious zombies have found their first victims, namely a rock band and their groupies and from that time on all hell breaks loose and we don't have to wait long to see the first of the young women being brutally murdered by undead hands as well. Just when it seems as if the girls won't stand a cat in hell's chance against this evil onslaught from hell, a mysterious stranger named Vincent appears to fight at their side and protect them against the advancing hordes of flesh-eating ghouls... and thank god, Vincent's not just anybody, no, he's a heavily armed monk who, among others, tuns out to be a true master of a mysterious weapon known as the flying guillotine.

But can one man really take on an army of zombies? And does the presence of this knight in shining armor only give the girls hope and confidence or does it also cause envy and jealousy among them? And how the hell can the undead be stopped once and for all if the only sword, which can end their evil reign for good, has been destroyed ages ago?

Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna give you an answer to any of these questions, but I strongly suggest you'd pick up a copy of DON'T WAKE THE DEAD as soon as possible and check it for for yourself. Cause if you're a fan of fast-paced, over-the-top and extremely bloody oldschool horrorfilms, which don't take themselves too seriously, you'll definitely enjoy this flick a lot. Honestly, DON'T WAKE THE DEAD is a perfect party flick for everyone who likes his movies gross, outrageous and gorey as hell.

For me DON'T WAKE THE DEAD is by far the best Andreas Schnaas film I've seen so far and from start to finish it pleases the amazed b-movie afficionado with tons of very cool splatter effects, eerie settings, cool costumes and a fucked-up but still coherent plot. And of course we also don't have to abstain from lots of hot chicks, and bare breasts on the one hand and a kick-ass rock'n-roll soundtrack on the other. And last but not least the film is also full of charming cross references to the horror classics of the 70s and 80s.

The possessed girls slightly reminded me of the demons from EVIL DEAD, the cut-in-half zombie chick looked a little like Belial from BASKET CASE and the freaky party, which the ghouls celebrate in the dark corridors of Castle Grabau towards the end of the film, really made images of the legendary graveyard scene from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD pop up before my mind's eye.

And these are just a few examples that I can think of right now. If you're a fan of cheesy midnight movies and keep your eyes open while watching DON'T WAKE THE DEAD, I'm sure you'll recognize a lot of other nice little hommages and bows to the cult classics of the genre as well. When you watch this flick, you can't help but get the impression that even after 20 years in the business, Andreas Schnaas is still just as much a horror fan as he is a filmmaker.

The only thing that really sucks about DON'T WAKE THE DEAD is the fact that it has so far only been released on DVD in Germany. And the version put out by Marketing Film/Sunfilm lacks about 6 minutes of content and is literally unwatchable. I was lucky enough to see the film in an uncut version at an exclusive screening here in town and I really hope that some distributor has the balls to put it out on DVD the way the director intended it to be... this flick is helluva good fun from start to finish and it really doesn't deserve to be released in a version that's butchered even more than the corpses of the templar zombies after they've made the acquaintance of Vincent's guillotine.

4 out of 5

Andreas Schnaas MySpace: www.myspace.com/andreasschnaas