EVIL EVER AFTER (2006 dir Brad Paulson)

Cryptkeeper Films U.S. DVD

Randal Malone stars as Bernie Grisso, a mortician whose parents were cannibals. When Bernie was a young lad, he discovered his mom and dad removing organs from a dead body in their basement. They wanted to keep it a secret from Bernie, but once they saw that he caught them, they decided they should let him have a taste of human flesh and show him what it takes to be a cannibal. Once dad taught Bernie how to kill, he seemingly developed superhuman strength as he chews the throat out of a young girl sitting by a tree and rips the heart out of a drug dealer with his bare hands.

Things soon changed Bernie forever once he saw his parents murdered by a corrupt, sleazy, sadist cop named Harvey (Ford Austin). Harvey tells him that he'll be "watching" him for the rest of his life, so he better be good or else. Years later, now grown up and living in a peaceful town in Southern California, things seem to be going well for Bernie. When his neighbor Ashley (Heidi Martinuzzi), who's considered to be the town slut, attempts to seduce him and he refuses, she tells him "You're going to be so fucking sorry" before making up a story to all her friends that he raped her. Ashley's perverted dad (played by Joe Bob Briggs), who has been engaging in an incestuous relationship with her, enlists the help of the aging cop Harvey.

Harvey gets together with his thuggish toadie who's another corrupt cop and the two of them proceed to torture and degrade Bernie by forcing him to wear a dress and raping him by shoving candlesticks into his rectum. When that's not enough, the rest of Ashley's friends band together and continue to torture him even more by taking him out into a desert, beating him up, urinating on him, and shoving hot knives into his behind. When one of them actually ends up beating him to death, or so he thinks, word gets out to Ashley that he's dead which is not really what she wanted. As it turns out, Bernie didn't die and he comes out of the grave and gets together with his special midget guardian (Mighty Mike Murga) and the two of them proceed to exact brutal revenge on the slimy scum who tortured him and left him for dead. The bodies start to pile up as Bernie gets closer to Ashley, the source responsible for his degrading ordeal.

EVIL EVER AFTER is a downright sleazy, trashy, offensive, and scummy movie. It's so sleazy I wanted to take a shower after viewing. And you know what, I actually mean that in a good way! It's one of those movies that can be enjoyable if you don't take it too seriously. It has all the proper elements needed in any B-movie. It has gore, humor, T&A, sex, cannibalism, a high body count, etc. Brad Paulson and Chris Watson have done a fine job of creating a movie that goes out of its way to make every character the sleaziest scum on the planet. I mean, you actually end up hating all the characters with a passion and you're happy to see them all get their just desserts in the end. It's also one of the few movies that have enough balls to actually kill a child onscreen, a disabled one at that making it even more offensive. But the kid is an obnoxious brat who ultimately gets what he deserves. I also don't believe I've ever seen a movie with so much violence towards rectums and male and female genitalia before. It must have set a record for most onscreen groin violence. There's more here than HOME ALONE 1 and 2 combined. I wonder what the significance was. But the greatest thing EVIL EVER AFTER has going for it is its cast and what a cast it is: Randal Malone, Heidi Martinuzzi, Ford Austin, Joe Bob Briggs, Brinke Stevens, Felissa Rose, Julie Strain, Mighty Mike Murga, Lizzy Strain, Chris Mackey, Jeff Leroy, D.T. Carney, and Eric Spudic, plus voiceover narration by Joe Estevez. That alone makes it a B-movie fanatic's dream come true.

The Cryptkeeper Films DVD of EVIL EVER AFTER contains a director's commentary and several deleted scenes. Included in the deleted scenes is a scene with Troma's Lloyd Kaufman that was cut out. Lloyd is an unfortunate passerby who gets his throat cut by Bernie.

Overall, EVIL EVER AFTER is a fun, cheesy, so-bad-it's-good Tromaesque low budget effort that uses all the right B-movie elements very wisely. The cast alone makes it a worthy purchase for low budget horror fanatics. But please, don't show it to anybody who expects everything to be politically correct. If that's what you're looking for, you've come to the wrong place.

Get it at www.cryptkeeperus.com