1. Johnny Gruesome's short list: Mr. Corpse and Shera! CHRIS: Speculation is rising that Johnny Gruesome will select The Sinister Mr. Corpse to be his running mate on the Zombie Reform Party ticket. KIETH: Isn't that a bit like picking senators from neighboring states? It seems to me that each zombie candidate appeals to the exact same constituents. CHRIS: Don't forget that's exactly what Bill Clinton did with Al Gore. KIETH: I think it's much more likely, in these cynical times, that Gruesome will pick Shera, the Mother of the Werewolf Pack, as his running mate. She'd expand his base to werewolves, bring in the female chromosome vote, and the pistol packing crowd. Evenb more important, she's completely unqualified, which seems to be the primary qualification for Veep picks these days unless your last name happens to be Biden. CHRIS: Shera's a great choice; she'll pick up the family values crowd too. She could have had an abortion, but instead she gave birth to the Chosen One. The Sinister Mr. Corpse has that shady paste as a low budget horror film distributor. KIETH: There you have it: Shera and The Sinister Mr. Corpse appear to be the favorites on Johnny Gruesome's short list. We should know the answer soon...

Posted at 12:01 PM on September 05, 2008 by greg-lamberson

2. Horror Mall has enacted a NEWS BLACKOUT against the Johnny Gruesome for President Campaign! Insiders close to the campaign believe this is a flagrant attempt to help the campaign of Senator John McCain... or Senator Obama. "How else can you explain that they deleted a simple post highlighting that Johnny will be announcing his VP pick later today? Johnny's advisers have always supported Horror Mall, even when they implemented the Rovian tactic of blocking internet links." Representatives for Senator McCain and Senator Obama declined to comment.

Posted at 2:08 PM on September 05, 2008 by greg-lamberson

3. Johnny Gruesome, aka the Headbanger from Hell, was quick to fire back at the on-line book store Horror-Mall after a message board post touting his upcoming vice presidential pick was deleted. "This is bullshit," Gruesome said. "What the hell is wrong with those guys? Have they ever deleted a post by John McCain? NO! Have they ever deleted a post by Barack Obama? NO! This is flagrant discrimination against the Zombie Reform Party. We were good enough for them when we were a Limited Edition campaign, but now that we're shooting for a wider constituency... Used to be they were a cool alternative to SHocklines. If it's war they want, it's war they'll get!" When asked to comment, spokespersons for the both of the competing campaigns said, "What's a Horror Mall? And who's Johnny Gruesome?"

Posted at 2:21 PM on September 05, 2008 by greg-lamberson

4. Very cool video. Well if Johnny doesn't make it for President he can always run for Prime Minister as we have just dissolved Parliament and are heading into an election ourselves. Good luck Johhny. Ron

Posted at 2:23 PM on September 07, 2008 by cellardweller