You've probably read a few of my reviews or seen a couple of my video interviews on Fear Zone, but now I'm trying something different. Each month I'll be posting an article about various movies, books, and video games at (seemingly) random, but that all have something similar. This month I'm talking about some cool B movies when I cover Brett Halsey's biography and movies TOUCH OF DEATH, ISLE OF THE DAMNED, & THE UNSEEN.

First up, I got the biography entitled Brett Halsey: Art or Instinct in the Movies from John B. Murray. Haven't heard of actor Brett Halsey? Yeah well neither did I. But when I read the book, I was surprised at how many of his films I was familiar with. For instance, he was in Bruno Mattei's COP GAME, Mario Bava's FOUR TIMES THAT NIGHT, and Lucio Fulci's THE DEVIL'S HONEY. Hell, Dario Argento even wrote his TODAY WE KILL, TOMORROW WE DIE western! In addition that, Halsey's had run-ins with James Dean, Natalie Wood, Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper, and many more. It seems like he was always on the brink of fame, but never quite made it. Supposedly, Halsey even turned down the role of James Bond after Sean Connery left the series upon completing DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. Halsey also had a role in GODFATHER III, which was unfortunately cut out. He was friends with Clint Eastwood during acting school and remains so to this vary day. He even had a bit part in MILLION DOLLAR BABY, which involved giving Hilary Swank an enema (!), that inevitably also wound up on the cutting room floor. Another thing I liked about this book is hearing the delicious details of Halsey banging lots of broads and marrying several times.

Overall, the book is an interesting piece of B-movie nostalgia. I was never a fan of his mainly because I didn't know much of his work, but I have since added a few of Halsey's movies to my rental queue. The book is recommended for lovers of these types of flicks. Any one else may want to pass.

Speaking of Halsey, I happened to catch Fulci's TOUCH OF DEATH recently as well. Halsey appears in it as an eccentric author turned cannibal who lures ugly women with low self esteem to his home where he can steal their money and eat their bodies. The film is strange mainly because of its use of dark humor. Murder and cannibalism coincide with romancing lonely women and utilizing cheap slapstick jokes. I pretty much found the film appalling- I never really got into the humor and it was hard to take any of the death scenes seriously. But as you may know, Fulci delivers the goods when it comes to gore. So the majority of this ridiculous film is boring or in bad taste, but there are a couple stand out scenes. One in particular is when he microwaves a woman's head after beating the crap out of her. Good times. The rest? Not so much.

And don't let the cool DVD cover mislead you. I have no idea why that was used. I was also initially confused by the title TOUCH OF DEATH aka WHEN ALICE BROKE THE MIRROR. At first I thought this was a reference to the character Alice breaking his killing spree spell, or something of this nature. But now that I think about it, I believe this is a reference to her ugly face breaking a mirror. Again, humor in bad taste and not that funny. Okay, so the title IS funny but not much else is. (Except the bum getting run over scene.) Check this movie out only if you are a big fan of Fulci's and find it necessary to complete your collection.

And all this talk of cannibalism brings me to another film. Anybody remember the screwed up shit that happens in CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST? Yeah, pretty much unforgettable. Would you like to see a spoof of it? Now I know you??(TM)re scratching your heads, but trust me when I say that the DVD release of ISLE OF THE DAMNED is hilarious. This 2009 film follows Jack Steele on a treasure hunting adventure where he and his motley crew of goofballs run into cannibals. The film has an awesome cover claiming that this "1980 classic is banned in 492 countries." The back even sports fake Italian names for all the cast and crew. And any horror fan that loves a bad Italian flick, knows that one of the best parts is the badly dubbed actors. And ISLE has that in spades. In fact, every actor in the film is dubbed by someone else and sounds intentionally idiotic. The White dude sounds like a big Black rapper. The Black dude sounds like a White lady. And one random fellow sounds like Speedy Gonzalez.

There is a decent amount of gore. Anyone who saw HOLOCAUST will recognize the man-on-a-pole shot and anyone who saw ANTROPOPHAGUS will recognize the fetus-eating scene. Oh and there are lots of men getting abused. One guy gets his testicle cut out and eaten, while the young boy (played by an adult of course) is repeatedly raped and molested. Hey, at least he got a line of coke first. But my favorite part is where the characters continuously refer to a cheetah as a panther. This is especially funny when they reference the Panther Fist Punch of Death Whatever.

I recommend this film to any one who enjoyed CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST (although I advise against telling people you enjoyed that!) or anyone who likes a really bad movie. You get lots of gore, lots of laughs, lots of moments where you are just scratching your head. And you get a couple pairs of tits. Can't argue with that.

I also had a chance to catch the 1981 film THE UNSEEN. The film is not that great save for a weird performance from the man-child locked in the basement. I was mostly interested in the film because it starred Barbara Bach (who starred in a ton of Italian flicks, was a Bond girl in THE SPY WHO LOVED ME and married Beatle Ringo Starr!) While Bach gave a rather stone-faced performance, Stephen Furst (Flounder from ANIMAL HOUSE!) played the big man-baby. Actually he played it almost a little too well.

The film has little going for it other than the list of actors. There is little suspense or gore, but you do get a brief bath scene (not Bach). I'd pass on this unless you really want to see what the hell these actors were up to.