Chuck Norris has already proven that all he can do these days is shill for exercise equipment, political hacks, and possibly hair dye. Jean Claude Van Damme is lucky to score a direct to video flick. Steven Seagal couldn't get arrested. That leaves Sly Stallone, the man who successfully convinced America that a 60-year-old Italian Stallion could go head-to-head, toe-to-toe, and fist-to-fist with the Heavyweight Champion of the World in ROCKY BALBOA last Christmas, to revive the beloved cheesy action genre of the 80s and 90s with JOHN RAMBO.

Yes, John Rambo, the man who wiped out an American town, singlehandedly took back Vietnam (from the Russians???), and helped the Taliban make Afghanistan safe for Osama bin Laden, is coming back to cinemas. And David Morrell's character from First Blood isn't just kicking ass--he's slicing, dicing, and mincing ass! I'll be on line for the R-rated version of this flick opening day, but I want to order THE UNRATED DVD NOW! The meaty version of Stallone's return to the One Man Army genre promises to be the goriest film in years.

You can see the not-so-bloody-but-still-incredibly-violent trailer in Quicktime here. interestingly, the film is being advertised as "Stallone - Rambo." FIRST BLOOD begat RAMBO FIRST BLOOD II, which begat the illogically titled RAMBO III. Is it possible we could end up with a film simply titled RAMBO? How confusing!

The film opens January 25th. I can just hear Sly's unintelligible rambo-ling now!